MEDITATION:
SOFTENING THE HEART

(Modified version of Meditations on Forgiveness from Jack Kornfield's PATH WITH HEART and BUDDHA'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK)


"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
-Longfellow

What is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness enables us to be released from the sorrows of the past, but before we can do forgiveness practice, we must be clear about what forgiveness means. Forgiveness does not in any way justify or condone harmful actions. While we forgive, we may also say, "Never again will we knowingly allow this to happen."

Forgiveness is simply an act of the heart, a movement to let go of the pain, the resentment, the outrage that we have carried as burden for so long. It is an easing of our own heart and an acknowledgment that, no matter how strongly we may condemn and have suffered from the evil deeds of another, we will not harm or put another human being out of our hearts.

We have all been harmed, just as we have all at times harmed others and ourselves.

Meditation

Let yourself gently repeat these three directions for forgiveness until you can feel a release in your heart. Perhaps for some great pains you may not feel a release, but only theburden and the anguish or anger you have held. In fact the practice may at first seem to create anger and bitterness, but we are really just uncovering buried and festering wounds. We are simply facing the truth. Touch these softly. Be forgiving of yourself. Forgiveness cannot be forced; it cannot be artificial. Continue the practice with openness, gentleness and self-kindness, and let the words and images work gradually in their own way. In time, you can make the forgiveness meditation a regular part of your practice, letting go of the past and opening your heart to each new moment with a wise loving-kindness.

Sit comfortably, allowing your eyes to close, your body and breath to be natural and easy.
Let your body and mind relax.
Breathing gently into the area of your heart,
Let yourself feel all the barriers and holding that you have carried because you have not forgiven, not forgiven yourself, not forgiven others.
Let yourself feel the pain of keeping your heart closed.
Then after breathing softly into the heart for some time,
Begin asking and extending forgiveness,
Reciting the following words and allowing them to open your forgiving heart.
Let the words, images, and feelings grow deeper as you repeat them.

FORGIVENESS OF OTHERS:

There are many ways that I have hurt and harmed others,
betrayed or abandoned them,
caused them suffering, knowingly or unknowingly,
out of my pain, fear, anger, and confusion.

Let yourself remember and visualize these many ways you have hurt others.
See and feel the pain you have caused out of your own fear and confusion.
Feel your own sorrow and regret,
Sense that finally you can release this burden and
Ask for forgiveness.
Picture each memory that still burdens your heart.

And then one by one, repeat,

I ask for your forgiveness, I ask for your forgiveness.


FORGIVENESS FOR YOURSELF:

Feel your own precious body and life.

There are many ways that I have betrayed, harmed, or abandoned myself
through thought, word, or deed,
knowingly or unknowingly.

Let yourself see the ways you have hurt or harmed yourself.
Picture them, remember them, visualize them.
Feel the sorrow you have carried from all these actions,
Sense that you can release these burdens,
Extending forgiveness for them one by one.

Then say to yourself,

For each of the ways I have hurt myself
through action or inaction,
out of my fear, pain, and confusion,
I now extend a full and heartfelt forgiveness.
I forgive myself, I forgive myself.


FORGIVENESS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE HURT OR HARMED YOU:

There are many ways I have been wounded and hurt,
abused and abandoned, by others
in thought, word, or deed,
knowingly or unknowingly.

Let yourself picture them, remember them, visualize these many ways.
Feel the sorrow you have carried from this past
Sense that you can release yourself from this burden by extending forgiveness
if your heart is ready.

Now say to yourself,

In the many ways others have hurt or harmed me,
out of fear, pain, confusion, and anger,
I see these now.
To the extent that I am ready,
I offer them forgiveness.
I have carried this pain in my heart too long.
For this reason, to those who have caused me harm,
I offer you my forgiveness.
I forgive you.